So, as I hit here to night trying to find what to write about and how to start my blogging again, I have decide to just write what ever comes to mind from my heart so here goes....

As I have said earlier  this month we have had a lot going.  The things we have had going on have been great and some not so great.  The ups and downs have caused a lot of different feelings about dd and all that comes with it.  The feelings of being love, safe, needed, and so close it is like we are one are great.  On the other hand when things are not so good the feelings of being alone, unwanted, unneeded, and unloved really hurts.  If has pushed me more than once to think about forgetting the whole thing.  Then here comes another up time and I know I can't live with out dd.  So, the question then came to me how does one deal with the ups and downs. 

Well I have been thinking and thinking of an answer to this question for almost a year and it hit me like a ton of bricks today.  I have been helping a couple that is very close to me for a while now.  They are having martial issues and I know in my heart they are meant to be together but life have thrown them so many curve balls it is not funny.  Anyways, the point I am trying to get at is, one has to take what they can get.  DD and real life don't always if every follow the same path. So, most of you already know that it feels like a game when it is an off and one again thing. So, I know for me I was always waiting for the game to end again instead of living the game up while it was being played.  When I kept waiting for the game to end I missed the best times filled will love and closeness and understanding.  So, now I have to wonder if I had not be waiting for the game to end, if I could have filled up my needs and it would have held me over while we was in between games. 

The point is that dd is hard and the real world does and will get in the way, but if we enjoy what we have when life allows it then maybe it wont be so hard when life gets in the way.  Sometimes as an TIH we forget that our HOH's have a lot going on and that they can't always take care of it all in a days time.  When they can't take care if it all does not mean they don't care or can't handle it, it just means they are human and as there TIH we need to remind them we are there waiting for our HOH to come back.